1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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