Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
he's single and there are thong briefs.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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