Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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