chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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