I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
