Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
