Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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