dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Your dad touched me again.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
