Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
