i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
