We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
