guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
this hospital has no fireball
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
