Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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