WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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