it glows. i had to have it.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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