You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
