U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
smell my finger.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
