so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
