We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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