Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
