Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
