Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
