More tranny stories later!
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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