3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
