Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
