do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
