So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
