hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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