I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i believe in u and ur pee
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
