I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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