I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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