my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
