So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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