We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
