She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
