This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize
