TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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