I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
