Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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