Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
