so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
