I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
