M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
