suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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