it wasn't lemon gatorade
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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