i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
