I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Let's get the cat blown out
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
