i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
