He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
