Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
